How to stop 4 year old from hitting at school reddit. If hitting makes parent go away, the hitting will stop.
How to stop 4 year old from hitting at school reddit He is very into hurting me at the moment. They both recommended no physical contact. If you would have asked me a year ago, I would have said spoiled. We managed to get her to stop doing that about a year ago. My niece was a choker lol she chocked the people she loved the most. I won’t let you. Becky suggests blocking the hitting and, with a blank face (no reaction), saying, “I won’t let you hit me. Every few weeks, I get a note from his teacher saying that he hit, slapped, kicked, or bit someone. ” But the behavior keeps repeating. My 4-year old son hits out 2. 5 year old step son came to live with us full time and we were made aware of constant aggression at school, hitting, punching, pushing, horrible times during transition, my mind has been changed (somewhat). Repeatedly and hard. I have always thought smacking for smacking hypocritical so that’s not an option at all. I think she is picking up this behavior from her friends at the playground but I am not sure. If he hurts himself while in school then it’d be their fault. When he is angry or I can't guess what he wants quickly enough or when he is bored, he hits me, bites me, kicks me, pulls my hair. So I tried gentle parenting and worked on my reactions, it wasn’t perfect there wa’s some yelling during hard long days moments. Nov 4, 2019 · But that was mostly the running in the hallway craziness of a five year old. 5 year old has been having trouble with hitting at school. Lately the one 4 year old that has autism has been hitting the other children. Now I know my son is 3 but for the most part is pretty self aware. My toddler is 2. I like to have safe hands. Some background: my son has never had an issue with being aggressive until the last few weeks when his teachers started telling us he had been aggressive with teachers at school. 5 years old. My daughter did have a history of hitting us when she was younger, but it was the playful hitting. We just had a meeting this morning with the school because my child has bitten other children 4 times since starting (and has tried to bite another 5 or so times). He adores his little brother so I don’t think that has anything to do with it but he’s been getting in trouble at school a lot lately. He’s four years old. I have also told my child, “do I hit you? [no]. I couldn’t really use some advice. Whether it’s due to tiredness, stimulation or meeting developmental milestone kids are constantly in conflict. A 3-4 year old should know enough not to hit but if they still are it’s not necessarily a sign of a disorder, they may just need more help learning not to hit. Idk why idk what to do to fix it. It can still be a little situational. So I have a rambunctious 4 year old boy. Because of the pandemic, our country closed all schools for two years. Again, she’s 4, she has no concept of needing to win anything. ” You should also be telling him “it’s ok to be angry but it’s not ok to hit. Today, my two year old was so mad at me when I didn’t put a new diaper on him after he got up from his nap. If he says no, say “Tell me when your done. Watch out for times when your child is engaging in a behavior you Nothing worked for us and my dog now has a bad association with being touched by my almost 3 year old (even though he’s gentle lately). Toddlers are still developing their impulse control, which means they may not have the ability to stop themselves from hitting when they feel the urge. But for the last two weeks almost every other day the teacher has been telling us about him hitting or ignoring the teachers. The best thing to do is to just calmly stop him and say, "we don't hit. I know every parent has trouble looking objectively at their child but my son is a very happy, positive, and usually gentle kid. 10 votes, 16 comments. At school, his teacher indicates he hits during less structured time (transitions in hallways, during lunch). A log back and forth reporting each day was helpful, especially when kids needed further help and support from specialists. You don't take privileges away from a three year old. i want to stop because it kinda makes my head hurt after but i don't have any other coping mechanisms so. He went through a period last year of getting into sort of fights with a couple of other boys at his nursery. You picking up a que that the other dad didn’t care This is my first post but I really need advice. However, lately, we have been having huge issues with her throwing these huge tantrums for no reason, set off by absolutely nothing. I spoke with him today and he said he hit a kid named Fitz because he was chasing him and trying to hit him. ” The wording is very important. My daughter is 4 and she is a funny, bright, sweet kid, but she will not stop hitting the other kids in her preschool. If my 4 year old throws a tantrum or yells about wanting applesauce or something, I say, “take a lap and try again. My almost 4 year old has recently started hitting and kicking his teachers in his preschool. Jun 25, 2024 · Toddler tantrums are normal, but if your toddler is struggling to relate to peers or causing disruptions, you may need to step in. She is basing all of her behaviors on your reactions. He had 0 interest in engaging with the material even though he is very smart. Aug 19, 2024 · How do I stop my 4-year-old from hitting at school? One way to do stop a child from hitting others at school is to have a professional behavior observation. Kept grazing his teeth on me and he went to bite me just a month ago and I gave him an extreme reaction where I yelled "don't you bite me!" And I gave him a mean look. I have a three year old. The day I exchanged blows with him, I never felt more empowered and confident. His daycare teacher read it every day at circle time. As the title suggests. My now 3. My own four year old has punched me in the face in a moment of big feels lol. I spoke to a trainer and started following dog meets baby. ” If he tries to do it again, stop him and say “you really want to hit me. Nephew was an angry and playful hitter. He’s 21 now and super gentle. There's an open dhs case currently and I'm getting my kids into counseling. No countdown, no warning, or 3 chances. This sounds a bit like my toddler. i like to throw things but i don't want to be too loud so i just inflict my anger onto myself instead. And keep going about your business. Hitting is a request for attention most of the time. 5 yrs old. Maybe it’d be best to place him in a different school where they allow him to exhibit this behavior. You took hit after hit after hit after hit after hit, you tried everything you could think of to get him to stop, and you finally lost it and hit back. For example, “I’m setting a timer and when it goes off it’s time for you to lay down” and we use the 1-2-3 method before punishing her, for example, “come here to get your clothes changed. The OT at school wrote him a social story about safe hands. We hear this from other parents and we even call him a gentle giant sometimes. He has two sisters (6 and 10). My 3. We cannot get the behavior to stop and have been working with a therapist for months. ” He started kindergarten last month and he was pretty rough with his now 1. I’m potty training him, bottomless. My teachers are happy when I have safe hands. Don’t hide that fact from him. I also only saw him twice a week and accomplished it. We were all spanked as kids so I think when he got upset with himself that was his version of punishing himself in the only way he learned how. My 3 year old started preschool for the first time a few months ago. Hopefully it’ll just take time and reminding don’t hit…ours started off hitting us when frustrated we’ll correct her then that transitioned to hitting her self after a while it’s gone away still working in throwing at times now though (about 4. The 4 year old specifically hits mom, the two year old went through a hitting phase with everyone. I’ve sadly lost my cool and did the good old spank on the butt with clothes and pull up on, today my 3. Not light hits either. We do not hit people. Hitting was straight time out. I was 38 years old, in the hospital after an emergency C-section the last time my mom hit me. A full grown adult punching you in the face is a bit different than a 4 year old who has probably never been taught how to behave hitting another 4 year old. Are there any techniques or just anything that can help me stop that behavior? My 4 year old went through a phase of hitting/pushing her younger brother. He doesn't speak at all yet. ) What you do is what I do for my 20 month old toddler. Other than that, he does well at school and has some good friends - is totally capable of playing well with others. It’s not about witnessed violence, she has just sorted out that hitting gets the attention the quickest and gives her a bit of control. Dr. Haven’t talked to him in 8 going 9 years now, but that’s life…gain some lose some I guess. I’m not sure if anyone on here has dealt with this before. Just so you know, you’re not alone. My three year old has been hitting me. 19 votes, 20 comments. Or pinching, or biting. He went threw a phase where he was thinking about biting. She's at an at-home daycare where there's about 6 kids ranging from 1 year to 4 years old. I don't think a day passed in our house without someone getting hit hard enough to be bruised somewhere. Just yesterday little brother hit big brother on the head with a toy and he just said "ow, please stop!" without pushing or hitting back. Pushing him down, yelling mean things to him, etc. Separate the kids and stop the fun with no eye contact and little or no calm talking (don't use a firm voice if you talk). "We dont hit in this house, we are gentle" took his hand andand placed it softly on my arm or leg where he hit me or the dogs. r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Apr 5, 2024 · Reinforcing good behaviors with positive consequences can encourage your toddler to stop hitting. it finally subsided about a month ago. Each time, I caught his hands firmly but gently and calmly but firmly told him, “hitting is not nice. I’d ask the teachers what they do to address the hitting and how they work to avoid it. How do I get him to stop? We are currently going through an acting up phase with my eldest. 7 year old hitting a 4 year old even if the boy isn’t 7, a boy hitting a girl even if the boy was a girl, another parent not at least asking their child what happened. It’s not “you can’t hit” or “we don’t hit” or “ hitting hurts me. They work best on the hitting that is occurring at home. He's supposed to start Kindergarten in the upcoming school year and this obviously needs to stop. I have a 5 year old boy - high energy - lovely kid overall. I’m sad. They’re FOUR and people are talking about switching classes, suspension, and the child being shadowed. Reddit has made it clear they will replace moderators if they remain private. I recently had a baby and my four year old is acting out at school in ways I never could have imagined. Even if your baby was 4 years old, leaving the room when they hit only teaches them that they will be punished, thus inciting fear in them. Homeschooling failed due to not being able to get him to focus in his home environment. Sometimes they’ll run the lap and then just kinda keep running. after i stop hitting myself i usually just cry uncontrollably and rock back and forth so idk what thats about. He doesn’t have the ability to rationalize or logic. A pediatric psychologist explains how to help. There is some REALLY good advice on the post already (emphasizing using theif words, showing appropriate ways to release anger, etc. I worked solely on social and emotional skills in the classroom. And it would be difficult for you to ascertain from home whether this other 5 year old is plotting on ways he can make your child’s life miserable. If he says yes, have him sit with you and say “I know you are upset but we don’t hit anyone or ourselves. At school, he has begun to hit when he doesnt get his way. When she is told not to do something, she will automatically hit us. Obviously we, and the daycare are concerned and want to keep everyone safe and stop them from biting. I’m not sure how to stop this. His teachers have been trying to work with me to help him and… The hitting of his little brother is usually out of frustration or anger. ” I just watched him like a hawk and redirected him when I saw he was starting to show signs of overstimulation. ” On mass scale, the 3 year olds in our program did not have social skills to fully integrate into another station without disruption and even 4 year old classes on mass scale had issue with integrating play. This entails classroom visits in which an observer assesses or measures the child’s behavior. I’m angry. Kids will act up and lash out for many reasons, some being a lot more complicated then others. What really helped us was purchasing and reading the book “Hands are not for Hitting” by Martine Agassi (the 4-7 year old book as there is one for younger kids too). At that age, they know it’s wrong and their little devil brains don’t care. Sometimes they play really well together and than sometimes he will randomly hit, pinch, or do something that he knows upsets her. ” Two year olds are going to touch anything and everything regardless if it is unwanted or not. true. Very strong willed, wild tantrums, hitting, pulling hair, screaming. “My name is X. Our son has always been very interested in other kids, and will walk up to them in the park to play etc. Has anyone had a toddler that hits,how did you stop the Hey reddit. If hitting makes parent go away, the hitting will stop. We tell him that hitting hurts and that we use gentle hands. Toddlers/kids have way more determination that we do lol. He hasnt done it for 6+ months now and he actually pets the dogs now instead of hitting. Someone living in a lower middle class neighborhood is not living there out of choice. My daughter got hit by a classmate and he walked away after - 4 year old daycare ( I managed to actually see what happened as they played outside at the local playground). Posted by u/today-tomorrow-etc - 3 votes and 4 comments I have a 4-year-old child. " "And why is that wrong?" "Because I'm not supposed to hit. Try to remain calm and tell them “I won’t let you hurt me/ your siblings. But what worked for me was always a class wide reward system and then an individual one for struggling students. Wait until they actually do it to start the soft touch approach. And one min per year, plop him on his butt in a neutral nothing to do space, no eye contact. I hate yelling at my daughter to stop but since we had our second child her little brother she has become much more defiant. Her suggestion was to gently, firmly, physically stop the kid from hitting. But, man, they are epic meltdowns. Once he's calm and has done his 4 minutes of time out, you can go in and say, "you were put in time out because you hit Mom. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. it's The positive opposites would be interacting in a acceptable manner, using some replacement behavior like high fives, enduring a small disappointment without hitting, etc. There’s usually a reason why, and most of the time it’s about autonomy. If I can I always give him a run down of the general itinerary of what we will be doing and I try to keep our day to day activities on a general schedule. No worries, here's what you can try to sort it out: Keep it cool: When he starts hitting himself, just stay calm, so he doesn't get the reaction he wants. Does anyone have tips that have I have a 2 year old who is strong willed. For the last 5 months, she has… While I imagine there are a lot of factors contributing to your son’s outbursts, the most obvious one is your husband’s own reaction. 5 year old went through a whole year long phase of hitting around that age. 5 year old daughter who is mentally 5 hit me a few times and said “ I don’t like you” I do not like to hit because I feel terrible for one and two it’s a little hypocritical to hit her after she hit me and I told her that wasn’t Last year when my son was 3 he was hitting. We also had a similar issue with just randomly hitting classmates and us. Lots of big feels that we helped him navigate. Then for a few months it was fine. I have an almost 3-year-old that is constantly hitting other kids in her daycare. At two-years-old any aggressive behavior needs to be addressed as it happens (or ideally before). Hitting is pretty typical for a 2 year old anyways. That is an age-inappropriate punishment. He has always been rather aggressive, and lately has been hitting very very often at school. Yeah I agree with you. She still has her moments but is far more manageable and we didn't have to resort to drugging her, as a doctor will likely recommend. May 16, 2024 · We might think you should be able to leave a nine-month-old alone with a four-year-old, but right now, you have learned, you can't. Don’t yell or be upset. Think of it from the school’s perspective and the liability. All are common at that age. He's a loving child, but very strong willed, impatient and has difficulty taking turns. He doesn’t hit anymore and is the sweetest boy. My 4 year old nephew hits every kid that comes his way even if they aren’t doing anything to him ! I babysit him Mon-Friday and It’s driving me crazy. Your son is just repeating the behavior he sees modeled in the home. That's completely unacceptable. My four year old has taken to shoving and hitting his little brother. By the time she sort of realized what happened he was halfway across the playground. 1 month later, done. I always remind her that it’s okay to get angry but it’s not okay to hurt someone. She’s 4 now and hasn’t choked anyone in a couple of years. No dissertations either, it's too much for that age. See full list on empoweringparents. Every time my 4 year old son gets frustrated he goes from 0-60 in a second and just bang his head ti the floor or any other object he finds close. In desperate need of any successful strategies for dealing with a hitting 3-year-old! Our daughter just turned 3 and has in the last 4 to 6 weeks ramped up her instances of hitting out of frustration. I'm not an expert but I don't think his play experience is abnormal. It shouldn't be expected. But when my 3. The other day I was disciplining our almost-4 year old for hitting: "Why did you have a time out?" "Because I hit Sister. But she hits mom and dad when she gets mad. ” Sometimes eye rolls or a deep calming breath were enough for her to backhand us across the face. I share custody with her dad, and I suspect he is hitting her over there or is allowing his stepsons to hit her. Let’s hit the pillow until we calm down. I am sure he loathes the attention his brother gets and it is frustrating him that his brother "gets in the way". Time outs, threats nothing works. An 11 month old baby’s brain isn’t quite developed enough to understand that when you leave, you’re teaching him not to hit. And regardless of your situation, for this 4 year old the current situation is not working and needs to be changed. ” If he really needs to hit something to calm down offer a pillow. If this happened in my classroom, a staffer would get assigned to shadow his area for a week then remove him from playtime as soon as he shoves another kid. Instead, stop his hands gently when you see he’s about to hit you, and simply say “you really feel like hitting me. In the past when he was 3 years old, I’ve used spanking to discipline and all it did was make me feel awful and never resolve the issue. I tell my boys, loud and clear tell them to stop, if they don’t, tell a teacher, if the teacher allows it, you’re allowed to hit My older son is 4 years old and has always had difficulty changing activities, whether it's because he's doing something he shouldn't or we have to go, or move on to something else. First hit, time out. He hits the kids at school, but also does it to us at home when he’s angry or upset. He had a behavior chart last year when he received smileys or frownies based on how he did during each period. I would be doing timeout. Did the same thing. ” Whatever it is. I have a ASD 2 year old that's probably level 2. “That hurt. " I realized that I seemed to have skipped the part where I explained that hitting hurts people. Say “I know you are upset. We talk about what we can do to calm ourselves down when we feel angry, like taking deep breaths, counting to 10, squeezing a pillow or stuffie, etc. I have a 5 year old that is in pre-school, and will be going to Kindergarten in September. "NO hitting, NO spitting, SHARE, AND DON'T THROW STUFF AT PEOPLE" (our 4 rules, ymmv). If you’re angry and you need to hit you can hit a pillow I kinda do this in the house. Catch your child being good. When the teacher asks her why she just says “because” I don’t know what to do. This is behavior that the teachers need to manage. Sharing, 3 strikes. Dec 4, 2024 · How to Stop a 4-Year-Old from Hitting at School: Understanding the Reasons Behind the Behavior. On the one hand he's 4 and I don't think he has any idea what those mean, but it's still quite unnerving. It started at home but has moved on to her peers. We have gently said it while stopping his hands from hitting us and even told him with a no nonsense voice. He doesn’t really speak, nor he knows probably how to ask for something. In the last month, he has bitten 2 kids. So don’t hit me. It made him cry. I have a 6 year old who up until 6 months ago was an only child. So my son and his peers had very little experience with social interactions before 3 years old. He doesn't get to say "no" to you telling him to stop hitting. So, he's five, basically healthy, happy, typical boy. This is the only response lol. It’s used as an alternative to hitting. She doesn't have the cognitive skills to connect that she can't play with her ipad tonight because she hit someone 6 hours ago. Some days he is great and other days are rough for him. He has hit kids in the past at his old daycare and at his school, and we don’t want him to get suspended due to his violent outbursts. I've seen a 4-year-old approach from the back a sleepy child sitting on the upper level of a playground structure and push the victim off with his foot. Hey there! Looks like your 2-year-old found a way to grab some attention by hitting himself during tantrums. We did this when my then 2 year old started hitting my 6 month old and he stopped pretty much right after we took this approach. Impulse Control. Usually I will say something like “it’s okay to be mad but it’s not okay to hit” and that will make her stop and say “sorry. But you did it gently, you didn't spin him around or put him through a wall or anything. 5 year old son has been doing this lately, too. i punch and hit myself, mostly my head, when i'm upset and frustrated. Other times, the hitting isn’t intentional and is just him being careless with his surroundings like flinging his water bottle or lunch box around. That’s odd he did it when he got excited. I know that, for the most part, these are just normal two year old, pushing boundaries, kind of thing. ” Repeat as necessary. They will kick and hit my wife and myself to be funny or when trying to play but also when they don't get their way, don't feel listened to, or are tantruming. At home, he constantly pushes his 2 year old sister, hits her, and constantly just touches her (often gently). On top of the hitting, he's somehow become very favorable toward phrases like "I hate myself", "nobody likes me", even "I want to kill myself". When people say hug/ hold them during a tantrum and acknowledge his feelings I’m like yeah… that’s cool but doesn’t work at all over here. My child is 2yrs 4ms old, and they’ve been in daycare for 13 days. Stop rewarding hitting with attention. It’s extremely frustrating. If he keeps hitting you after you told him to stop the first time, he gets immediate consequences (ex: you leave the room and close the door behind you). I've read a lot, and done everything: pos Any dads out there with good advice on getting a 2 year old to stop hitting? Thankfully, she doesn’t hit her peers. Supervision is key. He has been enrolled in public school after a unsuccessful year of attempted homeschooling. It started a few months ago, and was a significant problem at his old school. We have talked to him, taken away things he likes, spoken to other parents, teachers, counsellors, psychologists, psychiatrists. My 4 and 6 year old boys have been becoming more and more aggressive at home. We had a set of rules, combined with the 3 strikes, and time outs. Remind him of that when breaking the news, “you were told you’d have to leave the school if you didn’t stop hitting teachers. If she thought it was okay, she would probably be doing it to everyone. Hmmm. I’m completely at a loss. 5 year old at preschool. Our 3 year old daughter goes to an amazing preschool This school is welcoming to children with autism which is wonderful. 5 yrs old now) and the shrieking of a banshee but it’s a start The day they stop beating you is the day you start hitting back. When he gets excited about something, or meets someone for the first time, he'll either slap himself across the face or take whatever is in his hand and hit himself in the head! The method in this free video course are the most effective methods for hitting according to numerous randomized controlled trials. We learned that she likes a warning when things are going to change. OP, you’ve warned him already that if he didn’t stop hitting, he’d have to leave the school. ” It was longer than that. I've seen a 4-year-old place classmates in a headlock and throw them to the ground in one fluid movement. I don’t hit her so I have no idea why she would hit others. We connect consequences to actions for my three year old all the time. com Jan 13, 2025 · Learning How To Deal A 4 Year Old Hitting isn’t always easy. My only experience with this was my cousin when we were younger. One bad review and the school can shut down. Build trust with distance like throwing balls or treats Yep this worked for me. It sounds like the other 5 year old who is struggling has some social-emotional or developmental issues going on as well and is just impulsive and physical. It was like watching a cat knock a glass off a tabletop to see what would happen. Today he was actually sent home early for hitting a teacher. They don’t comprehend that yet at that age. They're living there out of need. My read on this isn't "you hit him", it's "you hit him BACK"; that one word makes a world of difference. I like to play. He’s four. I have yelled out of frustration and pain which I regret. I find the best situation is to remove myself from my son when he hits. ". He never hit or but anyone after he was 2. What’s normal to you isn’t normal to them. Since he’s hitting you, you can tell him directly how you feel. We try and calm him down with chewys, weighted blankets, hugs, and calming words but none of that seems to be helping him to stop hitting other children. Jan 11, 2025 · This can be a trigger for hitting, as the child may feel scared or unsure of what is happening around them. We're not sure how to handle a situation with our 3. She does not act aggressive if another kid takes a toy from her, or things like that, but she’ll do this because (I think) she thinks it’s funny. He has also hit some of the teachers before but not often - I can only think of two times they have told us he hit a teacher, the most recent being just this week after a teacher pried him off another child. You've said he's AuDHD—is he seeing a therapist? what do they say about the hitting? An example is he repeatedly says stop or leave me alone and the other child doesn’t stop so he resorts to hitting. 5 year old daughter at least once a day and it is becoming very frustrating. There have been several instances where people come and post on this sub asking how to deal after their 4,5,6 or 7 year old has accidentally injured or killed a pet, or has been injured. A child who is six years or older and is still hitting needs professional help in my opinion. Before we dive into the solutions, it’s essential to understand the reasons behind the behavior. 5 year old brother for a few weeks. Pre-school is what helped my 4 - year old daughter with sharing/hitting/screaming issues with her 2 - year-old brother. Anyway, he was trying to hit me a few times. Six years old is old enough to understand that what she’s doing is wrong. Children as young as 4 years old can exhibit hitting and aggression due to various reasons, including: Hi!! Although I am not a parent myself, I am a nanny for two girls, 2 and 4. I don’t know what to do I’ve had to leave playgrounds on different occasions because of this and I don’t know how to stop it. ” They’ll run the lap and then ask politely, usually. I taught 4 and 5 year olds for about 6 years before I switched to a different grade. If what you’re doing isn’t working, then you need to change what you’re doing. Just watch the clock and The school let us know yesterday that this behavior has escalated and the other kids are scared of him. Wishing things were different is a disservice to both children My soon to be 3 year old started hitting/grabbing faces a few months ago- strangely, mostly when she is happy and playing. I firmly hold his wrists and tell him to stop hitting. So our 4 year old has started hitting and pushing . It’s a phase and ours didn’t go away until he started understanding consequences. As a kid, always beaten by my dad. The 4 minutes starts once he is calm, so if he pitches a tantrum in his room, that delays how long he stays in his room. Our house is set up so that you can do a full lap around the bottom floor. My daughter (4) is in school this is her first year and the last two school days she’s hit someone. uufby mdyn gvxs yiwr aqacgo zmyyna hbf jngci ucqzjtub oxnkc